


It's Okay

by Brumeier



Series: Bite Sized Fic 2020 [62]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Dogs, Flashbacks, Friendship, Gen, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-03
Updated: 2020-08-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:27:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 522
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25689577
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/pseuds/Brumeier
Summary: LJ Comment Fic for Show Titles prompt:Marvel Cinematic Universe, Bucky Barnes, It’s Okay to Not Be Okay (2020, K-drama)In which Bucky deals with flashback and Sam is there to support him.
Series: Bite Sized Fic 2020 [62]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1610332
Comments: 6
Kudos: 12
Collections: Bite Sized Bits of Fic from 2020





	It's Okay

Bucky’s memories were a minefield.

He never knew what would trigger a flashback – a sound, a smell, a stranger’s name being called on the sidewalk. In between one blink of his eyes and the next, he’d relive a moment down to the finest detail.

A wooden sign written in Arabic – _lodging available_ – spattered with blood and accompanied by the sound of wailing.

An outdoor market full of fresh vegetables, fish, fruit, none of which he was allowed to eat despite the gnawing pain in his gut.

A medical technician leaning over him, needle in hand, dead eyes like a shark above the ubiquitous surgical mask.

The flashbacks came and went so quickly that most people didn’t realize anything had happened. Most people.

“It’s okay,” Sam said, his hand warm on the skin of Bucky’s bare wrist. 

Bucky nodded, feeling a little unsteady. He took a moment to do the deep breathing Sam had taught him, and the moment passed. People continued moving around them like water around river rocks, none of them knowing how close they were to a lethal, mentally unhinged assassin.

“Was it a bad one?”

“No. Not this time.”

Sam didn’t push him to talk about it, though he’d told Bucky that would help. Expose the memories to the light, as it were. Some sort of psychological bullshit that he knew from experience didn’t always work. But this time he didn’t mind sharing.

“It was a dog. Mangy thing, maybe brown or gray. All his ribs showing. I fed him some things I’d stolen from a market stall.”

Bucky could vividly recall the feeling of the dog’s wet tongue on his face, and the way he’d wagged his tail, grateful for the scraps. That dog hadn’t cared who Bucky was or that he was on a mission to assassinate a man whose only crime was not keeping his mouth shut about the injustices his people faced.

“That was a nice thing for you to do,” Sam said. “Steve says you always had a soft spot for animals.”

“Maybe I was just bored,” he muttered, rubbing a hand over his face.

“Come on, man. Don’t do that.” Sam chucked him on the arm. “It’s okay not to be okay, but don’t dismiss the good stuff.”

Bucky didn’t respond to that, just started walking. They were going to be late meeting Steve for lunch, and Steve worried.

Steve was part of the good stuff, a reminder that Hydra hadn’t taken everything away from him. Steve still looked at Bucky like he had in the old days, as if the intervening years hadn’t happened at all. Sometimes Bucky thought Steve was the one who needed therapy.

“You guys ever have pets growing up?” Sam asked, dropping his counselor persona and just being a curious friend.

“Couldn’t afford to feed one back in those days,” Bucky said.

They spent the rest of the trip to the restaurant talking about animals and weird pets they’d seen people with, and Bucky was back to feeling okay.

If ‘okay’ was as good as it ever got for him, he figured it was more than he deserved.


End file.
